“Fear is a beast that feeds on the unknown. Define the unknown and fear will
retreat.”
- Jamie L. Saloff
retreat.”
- Jamie L. Saloff
I've had the pleasure of knowing Jamie Saloff for about a year now. She's a real dynamo and dedicated to helping others. If you meet her anytime soon, you'll never guess the horrors she has survived. As Happiness Horror Stories go on the AIR Equation, they start horribly but always have a happy ending.
She is the author of the book “Transformational Healing: Five Surprisingly Simple Keys Designed to Redirect Your Life Toward Wellness, Purpose, and Happiness.” An internet guru even before the internet was popular, she is the site builder and owner of http://www.polkadotbanner.com/, a website that promotes authors and their books and bring them together with those who love reading and writing (there she goes helping people again).
In all that she does, she looks for ways of motivating people to be the best they can be, always offering encouragement towards their dreams and higher pursuits. She feels that total wellness and inner happiness can come from fulfilling one's higher calling and purpose. Jamie offers workshops and teleseminars on the principals of her book. You can learn more about her and her offerings at the Polka Dot Banner website.
Welcome to the AIR Equation: The 3-Part Formula For Happiness.
AIR: TELL US A HORROR STORY YOU LIVED THROUGH THAT HAD A HAPPY ENDING.
SALOFF: It started when my doctor said, "It's a malignancy."
"Cancer?" I asked.
"A malignancy," he corrected. He avoided looking me in the eyes. My 2 year old son explored the small examination room at will. No one stopped him. We were transfixed on every word the doctor said and tried to read in between the lines to find out what he was not saying. I refer to his words now as the “Don’t pass go, do not collect $200, halt all your plans, and go directly to the hospital” message.
Thus began what I call the “Merry-go-round of Cancer.” Note the capital “C” on cancer. A friend of mine once corrected me. “Cancer doesn’t have a capital ‘C’,” he said. “Have you ever had cancer,” I asked? “No,” he replied. “If you’d ever had cancer, you’d capitalize the ‘c’ too,” I said.
When you first learn you have cancer, life becomes a fast-turning merry-go-round. From this merry-go-round there is no escape. You are instantly required to show up for tests, many which you never even knew existed; respond to the beck-and-call of your doctors, of which you now learn you have many; accept the fact that you are now surrounded by well-wishing relatives, most of whom seem to not know what to say and often say the wrong thing. You suddenly find you have no friends except for the really faithful ones, because the others put a lot of distance between you and themselves—after all, it might be catching, or at the very least, uncomfortable for them to be around you. It makes them think too much about the impermanence of life. This is also where you are able to see the dividing line between “friend” and “forever faithful friend.” The distinction of who is who will surprise you. You find during this period of “Cancer” that you have little or no say in most of the decisions affecting your life. Someone else is always making them for you. You are in such turmoil inside that you aren’t really thinking all that clear, so it doesn’t seem to matter what they make you do.
My husband decided he did not want to put my name on the title of our new car. “It will make things easier,” he said, “…just in case.” My mother called up all her friends (and some of mine) and told them I was going to die. Each time I left the hospital, I found I felt worse than when I went in. My doctor continued to look at the floor or out the window each time he came in. He simply could not look me in the eye. I nicknamed my oncologist (one of the specialists on the case) “Mr. Car Salesman,” because he could talk circles around every question I asked (and there were many), while never giving a straight answer. He would tell me I was going to live, but I knew I was going to die.
AIR: SOUNDS LIKE YOU WERE REALLY AFRAID. WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
SALOFF: One night in the hospital, I watched a documentary about a woman with “Cancer.” (It was definitely a capital “C” for her.) She had endured tremendous hardships through treatment. The documentary ended with one of those black screens saying she had died after the filming. I didn’t feel I had much to look forward to, and I greatly feared the chemotherapy I had been told I would soon have. As I lay there in my hospital bed, I pondered all of this and silently prayed that God would “make a way where there was no way,” one of my favorite prayerful sayings. At that moment, it was as if an elevator door opened up at the foot of my bed and a vision began.
In my vision, I saw Jesus standing in the elevator. He asked me if I wanted to live or die. I had never thought of life as being a choice before, or that I might have any say in the matter. Jesus brought to memory a faith healer I had known who had nearly died but who had also seen a vision. She had been told it was not yet her time to die and that God had work for her to do. Jesus told me he had work for me also, but he wouldn’t say what. (It was kind of like the game show, “Let’s Make a Deal,” and I wasn’t privy to what was behind each door.)
I thought about the chemotherapy and asked what I would have to endure. Jesus would not tell me what I would face since he knew that each choice we make, each step forward we take, can change the outcome of where we will be and what we will be doing tomorrow. He did, however, remind me of a vision I’d had some years earlier of a special baby that would come into my life. Although my doctors had already told me I was sterile and that further treatment would lower my ability to give birth even more, still I latched on to that single possibility and used it as my hope and sign that life could go on after “Cancer.” So I told Jesus, “I choose to live!”
Many things befell me after that. However, the most important change came when I decided that I was in charge of the decisions concerning my life. I insisted my family take me to a larger hospital where my course of treatment changed from extensive and evasive chemotherapy to only radiation therapy. Although I still clung to the hope of having another child, they too assured me that this was no longer a possibility.
Approximately 30 days after my last radiation treatment, I was found to be pregnant. At the time, only 500 cases were on record for my diagnoses and treatment. My doctors, asked me, “How did this happen?” I explained, “Well, when a man and woman come together…” But that was not the answer they wanted. My gynecologist was not really sure what to do with a heavily radiated, pregnant, cancer survivor, so he just did what he would do normally and let the pregnancy proceed normally. That was in 1985.
AIR: HOW DID THIS HORROR TURN INTO HAPPINESS?
SALOFF: Today, I have two fine sons, Matthew and Mark. Mark, though born more than 7 weeks early and weighing a mere 3 pounds, 15 ounces, today stands nearly six feet, five inches tall and weighs around 225 pounds. Both are among the greatest gifts God has ever given to me, that and the gift of life.
From this experience I learned that illness is a catalyst for change and for finding purpose. I learned that even though illness can be the worst period of your life, it can lead to the best of your life and transform you into a better you. I learned that I have choices and that I can create my destiny. These are among the things I teach others.
AIR: ANOTHER HAPPY ENDING, COURTESY OF THE AIR EQUATION. INSPIRATION IS STRONG MEDICINE FOR UNHAPPINESS.
SALOFF: If you are facing an illness, decide that you can choose to live. Decide that you have the right to make choices in your treatment, in your doctors, in how you will live each day. Know that like wellness, illness has a purpose in your life too. Accept illness as a gift and catalyst for change. Find the good in these changes and embrace them. Seek out others who have overcome what you face and learn from their trials. Hang on to the inner most desires of your heart at all costs, and reach out for them.
AIR: JAMIE, WHERE CAN THE AUDIENCE GET MORE DETAILS ON YOUR INCREDIBLE PATH TO HAPPINESS?
SALOFF: For more information on finding wellness through illness, read my book “Transformational Healing: Five Surprisingly Simple Keys Designed to Redirect My Life Toward Wellness, Purpose, and Prosperity.” You can learn more about me and my offerings on my website http://www.polkadotbanner.com/.
She is the author of the book “Transformational Healing: Five Surprisingly Simple Keys Designed to Redirect Your Life Toward Wellness, Purpose, and Happiness.” An internet guru even before the internet was popular, she is the site builder and owner of http://www.polkadotbanner.com/, a website that promotes authors and their books and bring them together with those who love reading and writing (there she goes helping people again).
In all that she does, she looks for ways of motivating people to be the best they can be, always offering encouragement towards their dreams and higher pursuits. She feels that total wellness and inner happiness can come from fulfilling one's higher calling and purpose. Jamie offers workshops and teleseminars on the principals of her book. You can learn more about her and her offerings at the Polka Dot Banner website.
Welcome to the AIR Equation: The 3-Part Formula For Happiness.
AIR: TELL US A HORROR STORY YOU LIVED THROUGH THAT HAD A HAPPY ENDING.
SALOFF: It started when my doctor said, "It's a malignancy."
"Cancer?" I asked.
"A malignancy," he corrected. He avoided looking me in the eyes. My 2 year old son explored the small examination room at will. No one stopped him. We were transfixed on every word the doctor said and tried to read in between the lines to find out what he was not saying. I refer to his words now as the “Don’t pass go, do not collect $200, halt all your plans, and go directly to the hospital” message.
Thus began what I call the “Merry-go-round of Cancer.” Note the capital “C” on cancer. A friend of mine once corrected me. “Cancer doesn’t have a capital ‘C’,” he said. “Have you ever had cancer,” I asked? “No,” he replied. “If you’d ever had cancer, you’d capitalize the ‘c’ too,” I said.
When you first learn you have cancer, life becomes a fast-turning merry-go-round. From this merry-go-round there is no escape. You are instantly required to show up for tests, many which you never even knew existed; respond to the beck-and-call of your doctors, of which you now learn you have many; accept the fact that you are now surrounded by well-wishing relatives, most of whom seem to not know what to say and often say the wrong thing. You suddenly find you have no friends except for the really faithful ones, because the others put a lot of distance between you and themselves—after all, it might be catching, or at the very least, uncomfortable for them to be around you. It makes them think too much about the impermanence of life. This is also where you are able to see the dividing line between “friend” and “forever faithful friend.” The distinction of who is who will surprise you. You find during this period of “Cancer” that you have little or no say in most of the decisions affecting your life. Someone else is always making them for you. You are in such turmoil inside that you aren’t really thinking all that clear, so it doesn’t seem to matter what they make you do.
My husband decided he did not want to put my name on the title of our new car. “It will make things easier,” he said, “…just in case.” My mother called up all her friends (and some of mine) and told them I was going to die. Each time I left the hospital, I found I felt worse than when I went in. My doctor continued to look at the floor or out the window each time he came in. He simply could not look me in the eye. I nicknamed my oncologist (one of the specialists on the case) “Mr. Car Salesman,” because he could talk circles around every question I asked (and there were many), while never giving a straight answer. He would tell me I was going to live, but I knew I was going to die.
AIR: SOUNDS LIKE YOU WERE REALLY AFRAID. WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
SALOFF: One night in the hospital, I watched a documentary about a woman with “Cancer.” (It was definitely a capital “C” for her.) She had endured tremendous hardships through treatment. The documentary ended with one of those black screens saying she had died after the filming. I didn’t feel I had much to look forward to, and I greatly feared the chemotherapy I had been told I would soon have. As I lay there in my hospital bed, I pondered all of this and silently prayed that God would “make a way where there was no way,” one of my favorite prayerful sayings. At that moment, it was as if an elevator door opened up at the foot of my bed and a vision began.
In my vision, I saw Jesus standing in the elevator. He asked me if I wanted to live or die. I had never thought of life as being a choice before, or that I might have any say in the matter. Jesus brought to memory a faith healer I had known who had nearly died but who had also seen a vision. She had been told it was not yet her time to die and that God had work for her to do. Jesus told me he had work for me also, but he wouldn’t say what. (It was kind of like the game show, “Let’s Make a Deal,” and I wasn’t privy to what was behind each door.)
I thought about the chemotherapy and asked what I would have to endure. Jesus would not tell me what I would face since he knew that each choice we make, each step forward we take, can change the outcome of where we will be and what we will be doing tomorrow. He did, however, remind me of a vision I’d had some years earlier of a special baby that would come into my life. Although my doctors had already told me I was sterile and that further treatment would lower my ability to give birth even more, still I latched on to that single possibility and used it as my hope and sign that life could go on after “Cancer.” So I told Jesus, “I choose to live!”
Many things befell me after that. However, the most important change came when I decided that I was in charge of the decisions concerning my life. I insisted my family take me to a larger hospital where my course of treatment changed from extensive and evasive chemotherapy to only radiation therapy. Although I still clung to the hope of having another child, they too assured me that this was no longer a possibility.
Approximately 30 days after my last radiation treatment, I was found to be pregnant. At the time, only 500 cases were on record for my diagnoses and treatment. My doctors, asked me, “How did this happen?” I explained, “Well, when a man and woman come together…” But that was not the answer they wanted. My gynecologist was not really sure what to do with a heavily radiated, pregnant, cancer survivor, so he just did what he would do normally and let the pregnancy proceed normally. That was in 1985.
AIR: HOW DID THIS HORROR TURN INTO HAPPINESS?
SALOFF: Today, I have two fine sons, Matthew and Mark. Mark, though born more than 7 weeks early and weighing a mere 3 pounds, 15 ounces, today stands nearly six feet, five inches tall and weighs around 225 pounds. Both are among the greatest gifts God has ever given to me, that and the gift of life.
From this experience I learned that illness is a catalyst for change and for finding purpose. I learned that even though illness can be the worst period of your life, it can lead to the best of your life and transform you into a better you. I learned that I have choices and that I can create my destiny. These are among the things I teach others.
AIR: ANOTHER HAPPY ENDING, COURTESY OF THE AIR EQUATION. INSPIRATION IS STRONG MEDICINE FOR UNHAPPINESS.
SALOFF: If you are facing an illness, decide that you can choose to live. Decide that you have the right to make choices in your treatment, in your doctors, in how you will live each day. Know that like wellness, illness has a purpose in your life too. Accept illness as a gift and catalyst for change. Find the good in these changes and embrace them. Seek out others who have overcome what you face and learn from their trials. Hang on to the inner most desires of your heart at all costs, and reach out for them.
AIR: JAMIE, WHERE CAN THE AUDIENCE GET MORE DETAILS ON YOUR INCREDIBLE PATH TO HAPPINESS?
SALOFF: For more information on finding wellness through illness, read my book “Transformational Healing: Five Surprisingly Simple Keys Designed to Redirect My Life Toward Wellness, Purpose, and Prosperity.” You can learn more about me and my offerings on my website http://www.polkadotbanner.com/.
AIR: WHAT ARE YOUR FUTURE PLANS? ANY UPCOMING EVENTS OR APPEARANCES THE AUDIENCE SHOULD KNOW ABOUT?
SALOFF: I will be offering a teleseminar on the evening of November 5th, 2007. To learn more, visit my website http://www.icantransform.com/.
AIR: ANY LAST WORDS OF WISDOM YOU’D LIKE TO GIVE US, YOUR OWN PERSONAL QUOTE ON HAPPINESS?
SALOFF: “Do not hesitate to do that which you have been called to do for fear of being unworthy, for it is in doing the thing that you will be made so.”
AIR: THAT’S AN AIR EQUATION EXCLUSIVE, A QUOTE YOU HEARD HERE FIRST, DIRECT FROM THE AUTHOR (UNLESS YOU’VE ALREADY READ HER BOOK).
If you want to contact Jamie L. Saloff, even if you simply want to thank her for her work in spreading happiness, she can be reached by email at info@saloff.com, or at her website http://www.polkadotbanner.com.
Do you have a Happiness Hero or Horror Story to share? Would you or someone you know like an interview On The AIR? Email us at AIRequation[at]yahoo.com.
How happy are you?
3 comments:
Tremendous story. GIves me hope.
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